LAS VEGAS, Nevada (Aug 28, 2008):  Slated to open in 2014, the Las Vegas Las Vegas will bring all of the glitz and glamour of one of the world’s preeminent vacation spots, Las Vegas, right to the heart of beautiful downtown Las Vegas.

Honeymoon in the Las Vegas Bellagio, a full-scale replica of the famous Bellagio, or “le treat” your amour to a gourmet meal at the Las Vegas Paris Las Vegas.

Every detail of the original Nevada city is faithfully preserved at the Las Vegas Las Vegas, from the ample nightlife and lax policies regarding prostitution, to the extreme heat and incessant construction. Get a picture with one of our “Bible-thumping whackjobs”—don’t worry, they’re actors! Or ride a roller coaster with wise-cracking “Brooklynites” at the Las Vegas Las Vegas New York New York Las Vegas. Fuggeddaboutit!

Fly in and out Country Club-style via our private airport! “Las Vegas McCarran International Airport,” or LAS* (traveler’s tip: look for the asterisk!) features all of the trademark inconveniences of the airport we’ve modelled it after.

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Remember: What happens in Vegas, in Vegas, stays in Vegas. In Vegas.™ 

UPDATE: A construction issue has arisen: because the Las Vegas Las Vegas, to perfectly model the city of Las Vegas, would have to feature its own version of our hotel, the Las Vegas Las Vegas Las Vegas, we have decided to break ground on that property first. Coming 2017!

UPDATE: OK, you probably saw this one coming before we did. By the time we were drawing up plans for LVLVLVLVLVLV, we realized there was a problem. However, our lead starchitect found a solution: our resort will be very slightly smaller than the original city. Although that will be more expensive (everything must be custom-made, staff must be a tiny bit shorter than average), we believe we will be able to build our resort within the alloted space. ETA: this century?

UPDATE: New problem! OK! Since each successive Las Vegas’s Las Vegas must be very slightly smaller, we hired nanoengineers to work on the really teeny tiny versions of the hotel. At the center of our property lies the LV2000, a complete model of Las Vegas measuring just 11 microns across. As our lead engineer peered into the electron microscope at the micro-city we had built, he suddenly stood up, screamed something about “the abyss gazing back,” and bolted from the room. Sadly, we had to (temporarily!) halt plans to break ground on the resort.

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