In My Pants Right Now (Inspired by the Flickr Group)

• Coke Zero™, 12 oz. Can: For portability, it has been compacted to minimal size.
• Safeway Artificial Tears: In case I need to artificially cry.
• Happy Birthday Gift Wrap: A good luck charm. 
• NHL Themed Rubik’s Cube: Still in progress.
• Expo Bold Dry Erase, Blue: Available at jerkpens.com.
• Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing: For her autograph in case I meet her.
• Jelly Beans: The hexagonal jar found in the Las Vegas Venetian’s hospitality basket fits my pocket perfectly. They don’t sell them, so I have an assistant stay there for a few weeks at a time and bring home a supply.
• 37¢ Stamps: In case I need to go back in time and mail something First Class.
• Hello Direct 6560 Pro™ Headset: For mercenary telemarketing work. 
• Chuck E. Cheese Token: You know, just in case.
• 2000 Years With Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks: If someone I meet has not yet heard it.