I want to get a tattoo that looks like I tried to cover up a mistake tattoo because that shows that I lived hard but also grew up.
Last week it was my pleasure to tell jokes for 500 or so nerds as part of the live taping of John Gruber’s The Talk Show.
(Also maybe this is the dumbest thing I have ever written. Sandwich and Merls kind of saved it.)
You think your Polaroid is retro? My camera is so retro it’s a bird’s nest full of stones.
you’re able to smoke e-cigarettes indoors doesn’t mean you should do it.
Look, I’m able to point to my dick while doing jumping jacks, but that doesn’t mean I…
OK, maybe that’s a bad example.
What I’m saying, Your Honor, is that I’m sorry.
Imagine being our parents, where you could break up with someone and then just assume they ceased to exist and maybe once a year you’d see an old Polaroid and then need to drink a tall scotch in front of a rainy window. So much classier than unsubscribing from a Spotify playlist.
A Helpful Comparison
After I read the news of Yahoo!’s massive Tumblr acquisition, I had trouble wrapping my head around what a massive amount of money a billion dollars is, so I came up with this:
Picture an area the size of Rhode Island. Now picture, inside that, a football field full of Statues of Liberty. Stretching to the moon and back. A blue whale. Now picture a billion dollars.