He wants his tapes and pamphlets back.
A bunch of almosts. They made it out of my head, but weren’t quite right for Twitter, and now they’ve been in my Birdhouse so long that I’m tired of looking at them. Sometimes it’s nice to start fresh, so goodbye, half-ideas and so-so’s!:
If all of you knew a lot more about Excel macros, the post hitch, and my childhood bedroom, I would have the BEST joke for you right now.
- 02/20 8:02
“Shhhhh!” I hiss, “Shut. UP.,” as my kids run around our local park telling everyone that they get to eat McDonald’s for dinner.
- 02/20 7:58
Pan burnished shallot drizzlings with strained Madagascar vanilla whispered hand-massaged Peruvian cum face balsamic slow-tortured roast beef
- 02/19 19:54
I’m stupid, and I vote!
- 02/18 10:02
Momment: your mother’s slightly worried emailed note to you about something you wrote on Facebook or Twitter, in which she also wants to prove she gets it.
- 02/14 10:27
Sometimes this whole town smells like my aunt’s house, then I worry that it’s just the inside of my nose that smells like my aunt’s house, then I wonder what I have against my aunt.
- 02/14 10:26
I wish my life came with a backup camera
- 02/14 10:14
Not sure what to do for my montage scene today. Hijinks in a museum? Kiss a series of pretty girls? Build a rocket launcher?
- 02/12 11:29
B-Minus things to be the patron saint of: , mock turtlenecks
- 02/10 16:24
Still nothing on Snopes regarding whether this morning is beautiful or not.
- 02/07 9:35
Howie Mandel Eats Glass.
- 02/01 10:16
Pop Quiz
Listening to this Sublime Frequencies compilation of Cambodian funtime sounds, Radio Phnom Penh, I realized that the song sounded familiar.
So, starting from the beginning of this track, how many seconds does it take you to figure out what song this is?
Also, despite her avowed so-so-ness, isn’t the DJ absolutely delightful?
You probably wish you were in #1 Club. But you’re almost certainly not welcome. It’s a pretty exclusive club.
![WorkBasket™
Some said the cubicle couldn’t be improved. Not us.
Introducing WorkBasket. A better workspace, for today’s mobile professional lifestyle.
Interior View: Spacious, Portable, Cheap
(Note: The producers of WorkBasket have no knowledge of, or relationship with, InSoOutSo Indastriez [sic]. Any resemblance to their BabySitter™ is entirely coincidental and, frankly, insulting.)](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxy5ufcSQs1qz4e8po1_500.jpg)
WorkBasket™
Some said the cubicle couldn’t be improved. Not us.
Introducing WorkBasket. A better workspace, for today’s mobile professional lifestyle.
Interior View: Spacious, Portable, Cheap
(Note: The producers of WorkBasket have no knowledge of, or relationship with, InSoOutSo Indastriez [sic]. Any resemblance to their BabySitter™ is entirely coincidental and, frankly, insulting.)
According to the playbill, his understudy is a wood chipper.
Let Tommy try.®
Forgot to mention: we have a sponsor!
Our most recent episode, “Bubbles,” is underwritten by our good friends at Seriously Realty and their top earner, Tommy Lee Jones.
Got a house you think won’t sell?
Let Tommy try.®
Been looking forever for that perfect bungalow?
Let Tommy try.®Thanksamillion to YLNT Chief Groundskeeper and Sales Maven Jason Permenter for all his help as we put this deal together!
It’s been a while, I know, since we released an episode of You Look Nice Today. But deals like this take a lot of work to put together, and Mr. Lee Jones is, if nothing else, a stickler for detail.
Hitler’s Real Reaction
I’ve seen my share of “Hitler reacts” videos, but was having trouble finding out specifics about the actual historical event dramatized in that famous scene from Downfall. In case you’re interested as well, here’s what I found, via Wikipedia’s entries on Felix Steiner and the Battle of Berlin.
Also, above is the scene from Downfall with the actual English subtitles.
In April 1945, the Soviet advance toward Berlin seemed unstoppable, they were close enough to shell the city, and were poised to encircle the city within days.
Hitler ordered Steiner [Felix Steiner, one of his ablest officers] to attack the northern flank of the huge salient created by the 1st Belorussian Front’s breakout. In conjunction with Steiner’s attack, the Ninth Army under General Theodor Busse, was to attack from the south in a pincer attack.
Steiner [informed Nazi leadership] that the plan could not be implemented because the 5th Jäger Division and the 25th Panzer Grenadier Division were deployed defensively and could not be redeployed until the II Naval Division arrived from the coast to relieve them. This left only two battalions of the 4th SS Police Division available and they had no combat weapons.
On 22 April 1945, at his afternoon conference, Hitler became aware that Steiner was not going to attack and he fell into a tearful rage. Hitler declared that the war was lost, he blamed the generals, and announced that he would stay on in Berlin until the end and then kill himself:
“Because of one man’s fear of glory, we are to lose this war? No, I shall not leave Berlin. I shall stay here until the Communists bust down the door to the bunker, and then I shall kill myself, gentlemen.” (April 22, 1945)
Katie Spence : “Collabo”
Browsing some old photos, I found this one of me and JasPer from last year’s MaxFunCon.
Without Twitter, this kind of conversation just wouldn’t exist.
Can you imagine what the world would have been like if Einstein and Shakespeare had been able to communicate with each other like this?
Also: never eat a sandwich at Bill’s house.
Another Reason I Love My New Town
Unauthorized, low-rent PEZ museum. Which evidently houses the world’s largest PEZ dispenser. Which makes me wonder how big are the world’s largest PEZ, to go in that dispenser. Which makes me think: who did they build that thing for? Giants?
Jens Lekman: “Black Cab”
Oh, my dum-dums. Here we are, Jens Lekman Day drawing to a close.
This last song could have just as easily been “Higher Power” or “Silvia.” And you might find “Black Cab” a little bit slow at first. But take note: resonant and mournful, this is the best shower song of all time.
Although maybe this song only sounds good in my shower, when I sing it. If that’s the case—if “Black Cab” doesn’t work for you in your shower—I invite you over to mine, to listen to me sing it.
I feel like going home
But at the same time, I don’t
