your monkey called

Aug 11

Lullaby

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
Can you see what the Rock is knitting?
Can you hear what the Rock is humming?
Hush now, go to sleep.
The Rock loves you so.

Aug 10

humansofnewyork:

"I told the truth on my job application about my past drug use, and they sent me a letter saying I didn’t meet their standards of integrity."

I feel like such a shithead just learning about Humans of New York now. Jesus it’s so good.

humansofnewyork:

"I told the truth on my job application about my past drug use, and they sent me a letter saying I didn’t meet their standards of integrity."

I feel like such a shithead just learning about Humans of New York now. Jesus it’s so good.

[video]

Aug 08

“I have tried them all,
The cotton, the nylon,
absorbing water, rolling in sand,
sticky flakes of broken glass.
We all drown in the end.” — From Anne Sexton’s Summer Bikini Tips

Aug 05

Jul 27

We concluded that this party rock band has no idea how fascist they look.

We concluded that this party rock band has no idea how fascist they look.

Jul 24

Alejandro Chaskielberg takes photos using only moonlight.
More here.

Alejandro Chaskielberg takes photos using only moonlight.

More here.

Jul 08

[video]

Jul 07

This reminded me of those sad porns where a guy gets a dude with a bigger dick to fuck his wife.

This reminded me of those sad porns where a guy gets a dude with a bigger dick to fuck his wife.

The Plan

When I pull twice on my earlobe, you start breakdancing, Andy will do his funky burlesque and together we’ll bring down Wall Street.

liartownusa:

Country Recess Children’s Whiskey… Since 1889

"When the bells ring out and the doors swing open onto bright Spring sunshine, it’s time for Country Recess."

liartownusa:

Country Recess Children’s Whiskey… Since 1889

"When the bells ring out and the doors swing open onto bright Spring sunshine, it’s time for Country Recess."

Jul 05

I tweeted something and then someone wrote it out in calligraphy and now all I want is a service that would render all my tweets this way. 

I’d pay $20/month.

(Thanks @elgreg)

I tweeted something and then someone wrote it out in calligraphy and now all I want is a service that would render all my tweets this way.

I’d pay $20/month.

(Thanks @elgreg)

Jul 04

“Everybody knows the images of war in Saigon only from the newspaper. Nobody knows the atrocity. But everybody says: ‘Oh my God, how terrible!’ And this ‘Oh my God, how terrible!’ is just as real as the atrocity that happens there. It’s a different kind of atrocity.” — Sigmar Polke, whose retrospective at MoMA right now is so fucking great

Jun 24

First 10 Google Image Search Results for “Famous People” 
Not pictured: 
#11 Hitler#12 Elvis Presley

First 10 Google Image Search Results for “Famous People”

Not pictured: 

#11 Hitler
#12 Elvis Presley

Jun 19

A week from today! In San Francisco! Why don’t you come! It’s going to be good!

Tickets here.

A week from today! In San Francisco! Why don’t you come! It’s going to be good!

Tickets here.