October 2007
73 posts
Creating the Bejing Olympic logo →
Political opinion aside, this is a singularly effective set of images that you’ll remember every time you see the 2008 Olympics symbol.
September 2007
116 posts
scottsimpson: Pants crisis #2: brown cords are the same color as my suede shoes. I feel like Yuppie Tonto. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: B-Minus Sexual Fantasy Accoutrements: circus tent, Mason jars, salad tongs. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Going to start referring to taking a shower as “riding the lightning”. Every day will be guaranteed to start out exciting. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
“I think Patsy Cline was a genius … I frankly cannot carry a tune, but...”
– Janet Reno
scottsimpson: At the Podcast Expo. LOL OMG there are so many nerds here…waitaminnit… (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Thank you all for your cards and letters of concern. Because of you, I’m bringing an extra pair of pants on my trip. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Just stood in front of a dollar bill change machine for 30 seconds, trying to figure out where to insert my ATM card. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: B-Minus Porn Movies, Highbrow edition: “The Man Who Mistook a Hat for His Wife”, “Girl With a Pearl Necklace”, “Naked Brunch”. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Weighing the pros and cons of bringing a single pair of pants on an upcoming 3-day trip. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Election ‘08 Drinking Game: every time a candidate says “folks”, punch yourself in the face. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
10 Japanese Coffee Commercials Starring Tommy Lee... →
Star Wars spinoff idea:
“Boba Fett: MILF Hunter”
scottsimpson: Oh, it means “foot doctor”? I guess it’s too late to cancel my “Amateur Podiatrist” T-Shirt order from Cafe Press. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Steve Miller : “pompetous” :: Kanye West : “apologin’” (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Hotel wisdom: In the end there are only two emotional states: “Do Not Disturb” and “Service Please”. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
“Never Google your idols.”
– Herb Urban on Billy Ocean
scottsimpson: If you were just wishing that Badly Drawn Boy had fronted Tom Tom Club, then find a copy of White Williams’ “Smoke”. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
“Sometimes I see guys who are even more over-bred than me, and I roll my eyes at...”
– Todd Levin on Men’s Style 2007
scottsimpson: You spend your whole day cleaning, only to come home, open the newspaper, and learn you’re a synonym for “jerk”: the sad life of a douche. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Just invented the M&M/Mars Index, a standard scale to measure the size and consistency of baby poop. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Question I woke up wondering after my beach nap: why would Asian lesbians need a halfway house, and why would they put me in charge? (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Advanced vacation math: restaurant is oceanside but totally deserted. Order the “fish special”? (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Totally kicking my son’s ass at chess. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: My daughter is a mouth-breather, which is great, because it helps confirm that I’m the father. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
“Sartorial” has no noun form? That is BULLSHIT.
“This product is a chicken thigh meat that’s lightly breaded. It’s an...”
– Single Source, Inc. rep Jennifer, from Slate V’s Prison Food Convention
In Japan it’s Talk Like a Pilot Day.
scottsimpson: Email from someone who wants to “pick my brains”. Funny how that “s” takes the phrase from everyday idiom to zombie feast. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: @hotdogsladies I like “Claude Brodesser-Akner”. It’s the Slip-n-slide to Abumrad’s swing set. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
scottsimpson: Oh, come on! nymphotainment.com is available? Losing my faith in the world’s ability to always be 1 step more perverted than I can imagine. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
“I had no idea what a ‘lemon party’ even was, so I innocently offered...”
– Best Week Ever : It’s Not An Old Man Orgy If It’s Not a Lemon Party!
scottsimpson: Are you kidding me? scottornot.com is available? Uh, NOT ANYMORE. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)
“Brilliant stuff…she did a one-woman show, and she didn’t even show...”
– Ibid.
“You know I’ve been to a lot of fire walks where it’s not with a...”
– Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein: “Feminist Bookstore”
Second Ally To The Right, And Straight On 'Til... →
From defective yeti, a list of all 36 of our Iraq War ally nations, including Poland, Sodor, and Oz.
scottsimpson: Today’s life lesson: offering to shake a new acquaintance’s hand while still at the urinal is apparently “bad form”. (via Twitter / scottsimpson)