June 2007
150 posts
Dream last night that I was the sound engineer on Brian Eno’s new concept album, Genitalia of the Extremely Aged. I kept having to tell him to lighten up on the mbira.
The Sony Timer →
Most of my Japanese friends believe this whole-heartedly.
Scott Simpson: Potential ugliness @ Palo Alto store as front of line gets blurry. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Scott Simpson: My wife waited to order the needed car seat because “a Limited Edition fabric is coming in 2 weeks”. She’s the Turtle of Moms. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Scott Simpson: _2007: iSpace Odyssey_ in which the mysterious and beautiful black monolith is revealed to be…say it with me now… (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Scott Simpson: Budweisers w/ @ekai, watching the SF Apple Store line grow. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Scott Simpson: Best thing about Air Guitar show? Air-ijuana. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Scott Simpson: Tom Meritt: ‘It’s hard to forget the future’. That’s some hard-won wisdom, happy birthday TM! (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Wishing You Could Call Conversational Takebacks
Dude: Workin' hard or hardly workin'?
Barista: I'm sorry, what?
Dude: Working hard or hardly working?
Barista: I'm working right now.
Dude: I know, but...
Barista: Why would you say that?
Dude: No, I meant...
Barista: I'm working right now.
Dude: OK.
Scott Simpson: Trees in our yard: orange, nectarine, lemon, pomegranate(!). As an ethnic Pennsylvanian, I have no use for this backyard fruit. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
“Palmer’s popularity remains so immense that his endorsements and...”
– ESPN.com: Prescient Palmer
“Staring at my espresso and cannoli
After this middle-aged couple
Came...”
– Paul Violi : Appeal to the Grammarians
Scott Simpson: @GrammarGirl: Heard a poem this morning that made me LOL that I think you would like: “Appeal to the Grammarians”: http://urltea.com/uu2 (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
“With pent up fury that masked years of angst over the empty absurdity of...”
– Woody Allen : This Nib for Hire
You know that classic pact you swear with your college close-but-no-chemistry friend to marry each other if you both get old and are still single? I didn’t think that existed in the real world. It does. The bride? Nancy Grace.
The husband? The saddest promise-keeping motherfucker in history.
linkwarningdemonspawnphotoevilevil
Scott Simpson: 2 hot flashes in an hour; is it already time for my special lady life passage? (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Scott Simpson: wtf is a “What’s Happens in Vegas Shirt”? Either a Japanglish knockoff of the familiar amoral phrase, or a sign that I should proofread. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Scott Simpson: Nothing better than a “What’s Happens in Vegas Shirt” to say, “Put the slide rule away, fella, the odds of having sex with me? 100%!” (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Benefits of Royal Jelly →
“Bee-Alive Royal Jelly gives me the energy and stamina I need to meet the challenges in my life - on and off the course! Discover how Bee-Alive can help change your life!”
—Arnold Palmer (who else?)
WatchJakeAndAmir.com: Chill
Condé Nast business title sees ad lag →
Issue #2 of Portfolio will only be 120 pages long. Which makes sense, given that #1 sucked giant Obsession-sampler-scented monkey balls. My favorite article: “Global Warming: Catastrophe or Fantastic Business Opportunity?”.
Scott Simpson: @laughingsquid: Can anyone really *plan* to go to a StumbleUpon party? (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Are you in Zhongshan, China right now?
In that case folks, stop on by the Anqi Garment Factory over on ole’ Chrysumthemum Road, Xiaolan. It’s an official Arnold Palmer merchandising product licensee. Tell ‘em Arnie sent ya!
Scott Simpson: 42,300 dormant neurons devoted to remembering Faster Pussycat are surprised but excited to be accessed as I listen to the new White Stripes. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
In the Market for Rubber Mulch?
“Arnold Palmer Rubber Mulch is made from 100% recycled tires and is environmentally friendly.” link
Scott Simpson: Choking back laughter at Never Not Funny ep 203. “You want fuck machine?” http://urltea.com/u9l?iTunes (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Dubai Now Owns Barneys New York →
Scott Simpson: Just de-dead ratted our back yard. Yuck! (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
HOLY SHIT HE'S ALSO RAISING A MILITIA
“There’s a level of civility about the Palmer way that makes an often scary world seem like a friendlier place. Members of Arnie’s Army never mumble the National Anthem at ball games. They stand straight and sing it! We do every task assigned to us with cheerful vigor and efficiency. No one outworks us, and when we’re done before everyone else, we dash out to the golf course where no one...
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I can doodle multicolored genitalia on...”
– Christopher Beam : Facebook
More than a Man, a Brand
USA
Arnold Palmer brand consists of home, stationery, beverages, memorabilia, collectibles, entertainment and holiday products capture the essence of Arnold’s extraordinary life. Arnold Palmer licensees have been creating unique products for the last 50 years.
CANADA
Available at Sears stores across Canada, the Arnold Palmer brand has been a classic for years.
ASIA
In Asia the Arnold...
“I spy, with my eye, something … that tree!”
– My son’s first attempt at a classic game.
Scott Simpson: For a great medical education, skip Johns Hopkins and enroll in a year or so of crippling hypochondria + internet access. I’m a ‘99 grad. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Scott Simpson: Fruit flies like my bananas. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Best recent news headline ruined by the actual information in the article:
“Japanese Women Talk to their Computers”
Scott Simpson: PC Parents Alert: Because of violence issues, don’t use the phrase “Squirt Gun” w/your kids. New approved term: “Water Ejaculator”. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Scott Simpson: Leftover dinner of pasta, rice, and bread reminds me of the old Epcot “Starches of the World” ride. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Scott Simpson: Keep forgetting I can tell my son anything and he’ll believe me. Today’s topic: Buildings I Have Built. (via Twitter / Scott Simpson)
Essentialist Explanations →
“This page comprises a list of 876 ‘essentialist explanations’ of the form ‘Language X is essentially language Y under conditions Z’.”
For example, “French is essentially Latin on a catwalk.”
Makes me want to do a version for people, eg., “Stephen Baldwin = Alec - Billy”.
(via growabrain)