January 2008
86 posts
For the record, a certain part of my anatomy has also been compared to a baby’s arm: my arm.
The exotic seafood restaurant adjoining the Maui aquarium is a little off-putting.
December 2007
83 posts
My wife just pointed at my face and said “WHAT IS THAT?”. Might be time to scrap The Maui Beard Project (code name: “Amish Paradise”).
In my family “shit” is a Bad Word, of course. “Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit” on the other hand, is elegant, expressive, and allowed.
Like a lesson on WWII has to start with WWI, I’m having to go back to goatse to prep my in-laws for 2Girls1Cup.
Extracting one (1) Medium Castle’s worth of sand from my son’s ass crack.
How many prescription drug commercials feature older women, in shawls, laughing?
“90,816 people voted by internet, postcard and by attending the temple in person,...”
– Kanji of the Year 2007
DAMN YOU TO HELL JACK JOHNSON.
Let’s say your girlfriend is a Little Person. Wrong, or just efficient, to refer to her as “Shorty”?
Infant martial arts, green belt level: use the attacker’s leg hair as handholds when standing up.
We’ve come so far. Where my friends and I played “Smear the Queer”, family little ones chuck someone a camera and play “Kill the Tourist”.
I’m sure “Sicko” is great, but I can’t think of a worse DVD to watch with my Canadian in-laws. The smug levels in here will be Prius-esque.
“Jesus say, ‘No go kill nobody, no go fool aroun behind da odda’s...”
– Matthew Tell Bout Jesus 19:16-22 (New Testament, Hawaii Pidgin Ed.)
Yuppie idiot, chapter 23: Just rinsed out my water bottle before recycling it..
Receivng clinic on “how to eat pussy” from my brother-in-law. Not uncomfortable!
Which guidebook says that American flag t-shirts and male pattern baldness are de rigeur in Maui? Because that guidebook is POPULAR.
If I had known I would be starring in the new TV show “Kramer vs. Kramer in the ER” before I got on the plane, I would have combed my hair.
My idiot foursome has cleared security at SFO. If this vacation were a war I would already be a POW.
What did the Three Wise Men do post-manger? Scholars tentatively agree: IHOP run.
What a difference a decade makes →
Nice reflection on the power the internet has given to individual authors: “Back then being an author felt very much like being an awkward teenager hoping to get a date: all an author could do was stay near the phone waiting for the publicist to call. But now, with the Internet, I feel completely empowered. I don’t need to wait for my publisher to do something on my behalf; instead, I just...
Scrambling to find a replacement Christmas present; my coworkers inform me that a 12-month Curves membership is apparently “insensitive”.
Watch“We did not want to target women and children, but Cheadle insisted.”
“That morning, page 1A ran two substantial photos: In one, a husky man in a...”
– Very Short List Helps Solve a Crime
Picking out small apology gifts for the poor suckers who have to sit next to The Idiot Family Simpson on the 5 1/2 hour flight to Maui.
I wonder if Bob Edwards demanded a sax-based intro as part of his contract when he went from NPR to XM.
I wish I knew how to quit you. (“Application Not Responding”)
“As I reclined in my chair, staring back at me was an artificial bulge...”
– Herb Accidentally Buys Pleated Pants
The Butterfly Affectation →
Jeff Gomez coins a great phrase to describe the dandered-up DEATH OF THE BOOK club.
“My most persistent memory of stand-up is of my mouth being in the present and my...”
– Steve Martin : Born Standing Up Great so far.
The popularity of Japanese & Kanji learning games for the Nintendo DS finally convinced me to buy it. First game purchase: Super Mario!
Ever since I’ve had kids, I pretty much hate you if you come to work sick.
“We misspelled the word misspelled twice, as mispelled, in the Corrections and...”
– Top corrections of 2007 (so far) : Lost Remote TV Blog
T-bone steak at 1 AM was not a good decision, and it was the best decision I made last night.
Our corporate party is better than your corporate party. Oh, I’m sorry, did Questlove DJ your corprate party? No? Ok.
NFL Films could do a whole show on ugly people eating noodles and it would be a riveting mix of slo-mo, high suspense, and elegant steam.
It still shocks me when I discover that people whom I read also read this. Today’s thrill was from linkblog fave growabrain!
Konbini Life →
English blog about Japanese convenience stores.
NO NO NO! Stop with the “Lost in Translation” whisper analysis! The POINT is that it’s inaudible. (cf. Pulp Fiction case, Sopranos finale)
1 tag
Dinner Party Tip
If anyone asks you if you’ve read a foreign author and you haven’t, say you’re “waiting for a more faithful translation”.
