2008

May

jonahray: This is a picture of a character for a new video...
May 11th
Painting China Now (2007): a collection of thirty oil...
May 11th
Yo-Momma-So-Fat Jokes Through the Ages
May 10th
Cars that honk when you lock them are like people who shout when they yawn.
May 10th
It’s not you, it’s your Hotmail address.
May 10th
When Obama wins, something something “Whitey on the Moon.”
May 9th
I agree: mothers should get a day. One. Day.
May 9th
Now that I’ve got my texturizing créme pomade in, I am ready to KICK THIS DAY’S ASS.
May 9th
“How many times do you have to cycle through your very...”
— tremble.com : worst of...
May 8th
If the Volvos of Los Altos are any indication, Barack Obama has despoiled a lot of bumper sticker...
May 8th
If your cat poops gold, then cleaning the litter box is exactly like panning for gold.
May 8th
Thanks to modern looms, ascetics’ hair shirts are now quite comfortable.
May 8th
Guillaume Paris : True Spirit
May 7th
Hmm, the 4th hole in my belt is no longer on speaking terms with the buckle. They won’t go...
May 7th
Prospective preschool website references Waldorf, Montessori, Piaget, AND Dewey. Pedagogical sluts.
May 7th
If I were .1% wealthy, I would name my palatial estate “Red Lobster.”
May 7th
Career-Confused? WE CAN HELP YLNT JOBBOTRON is now...
May 7th
BEACON OF HOPE yes 
May 7th
Oh, OK, now I get the joke. I had been emphasizing the wrong word: “THAT’s what she...
May 6th
A violent military government would seem less scary if they spelled it “hoonta.”
May 6th
“In fact, if pressed for time, only 10 percent would stop to...”
— The Good Samaritan Experiment...
May 6th
I should mention I am the worst “Office” offender of all. I’ll get the ball...
May 6th
Sadder than “The Office”: naming your coworkers after “Office” characters,...
May 6th
Zune owner seeks same (Z4Z)
May 6th
“[T]he fig leaf (‘what what’) is better than the...”
— S/FJ on Snoop’s...
May 5th
Taj Mahal on Ocean Beach The iPhone’s MiasmaCam lends...
May 5th
Dunder Mifflin Scranton Branch Org Chart (via) 
May 5th
“[M]y reaction to clever ads: as soon as I see one, a filmy...”
— Textism
May 5th
After a decade in the spotlight (MySpace, manga, text messaging), I’m counting on the Kindle...
May 5th
Beautiful Carcinogens
May 5th
Me: Merlin’s going to see Rush tonight.
My Canadian(!) wife: Does Jennifer Jason Leigh die at the end of that one?
May 5th
The only difference between my house and prison: our ad hoc economy is based on jelly beans.
May 4th
Luc Mattenberger : Dérives(via) 
May 3rd
Your roller balls are an embarrassment. Pens: Pilot Pocket...
May 3rd
The Prius in front of me is doing nothing to dispel the stereotype that we hybrid owners are...
May 3rd
Bathroom key fob size inflation is rampant in SF. At some point the key is just going to be bolted...
May 3rd
In My Pants Right Now (Inspired by the Flickr Group) Coke...
May 2nd
“In this town, when Bobby says do a podcast, you do a fucking...”
— Extraview : Adam Lisagor
May 2nd
“I always thought ‘white flight’ was a sampling...”
— Allie Delgado
May 2nd
For just the cost of clean water for a village in Africa, you could drink a delicious latte every...
May 2nd
Hardest hit by the devalued dollar: 99¢ Stores. Today they’re only selling lettuce by-the-leaf...
May 2nd
No Tats at this Hotel Pretty common policy in Japan for hot...
May 2nd
If you’re out of stuff to read in Google Reader, it looks like “nytimes.com” still...
May 1st

Number 8 ('nəmbər āt)

Number 8 (‘nəmbər āt), n.: The DVD that is always #8 in your Netflix queue. Ex.: “An...
May 1st
“The way to become famous fast is to throw a brick at someone...”
— Walter Winchell
May 1st
“Have you forgotten what we were like then when we were still...”
— Frank O’Hara : Animals
May 1st
Go easy on Paula, America! If Michel Gondry had “offered a critique of a performance that had...
May 1st
After Beanie Babies, only computer books are a worse investment.
May 1st
Antonin Fourneau : Aluminum Arcade Button
May 1st
I thought “Radar” would be like methadone for my “UsWeekly”-addicted wife....
May 1st

Apr

Holy mackerel there are lots of different figure skating...
Apr 30th
Amy Stein
Apr 30th
I talk to myself in the style of a professional wrestler every time I take out the trash.
Apr 30th
Business Idea: Highbrow massage parlor where patrons can request a Sopranos-style “ambiguous...
Apr 30th
Fallen Soldiers We will remember your sacrifice, Lt....
Apr 29th
“Am I being a J-E-R-K, Dad?” OH SHIT THEY LEARN TO SPELL.
Apr 29th
1. “I will do anything you want.” 2. “As long as you respect me.” I’m...
Apr 29th
Current nicknames for my family members: “Goofy,” “Special,”...
Apr 29th
“See, in recent years I’ve begun to wonder if...”
— John Moe : Seattle...
Apr 28th
My coworker’s dog is still looking great. I guess it’s true what they say: 7 is the new...
Apr 28th
Just pretended to be an audio engineer. I twiddled some knobs and followed Dan Kennedy’s...
Apr 28th
Falindrome #10:A-hah! A banana ban. Haha!
Apr 28th
Oprah audiences didn’t used to applaud anything. In 2008 you get a standing ovation for...
Apr 28th
 You Look Nice in Public Really just an excuse to add a Dymo...
Apr 27th
“[The Japanese government] has instructed Ikea … to...”
— The Japan Times
Apr 27th
Any specific diseases you can get by plunging your hands into the dark swirling waters of a public...
Apr 27th
More Kids’ Beer!
Apr 26th
I don’t know why I had a small hope that bob and bob, the Judaica store, would also sell magic...
Apr 26th
ROMANCE TIP: Women love honesty. Brutal, withering honesty.
Apr 26th
Thomas Mailaender : YES (via) 
Apr 26th
Mask Time!
Apr 26th
God’s on vacation today: I just wrote “talking from a differentiation perspective”...
Apr 25th
World’s Best Photograph (via) 
Apr 25th
AWESOME : お茶らむね “According to the press...
Apr 25th
“The music in your car always sounds like the soundtrack to a...”
— my wife
Apr 25th
Tour the You Look Nice Today Studio The YLNT Facebook page...
Apr 25th
“No two words are more precious to a writer than...”
— Philip Roth
Apr 25th
Freud’s actual theories have been largely discredited, but I think he might be the only one...
Apr 24th
Singing in Sembabule
Apr 24th
FormFiftyFive : Word Clock Screensaver (via) 
Apr 24th
Listening to MC NiceGuy’s “Yeah I’m Hard (But Not in That Way, No, I Mean...
Apr 24th
Laughs Per Minute Interesting waveform view of the minute of...
Apr 23rd
Listen Listen
Nick Thune: Funny Man A minute of gold, from six minutes of fantastic (iTunes), inside a double CD...
Apr 23rd
Favorite new Japanese term of the day: アルハラ (aruhara), from the English “ALcohol...
Apr 23rd
The Campaign to End Binge Drinking has prepared a lovely set...
Apr 23rd
“How sad is it that, during the climatic end scene, I’m...”
— Matthew Baldwin on There Will...
Apr 23rd
If you do stand-up, and if you’re also a cannibal, I just thought of the perfect opener for...
Apr 23rd
Jogged past 1,000 snails reenacting the landing at Normandy. Since I saw them too late, I ended up...
Apr 23rd
I think we can all agree that a business magazine is doomed...
Apr 23rd
ROMANCE TIP: Junk mail makes a fun gift: ladies love clipping coupons!
Apr 23rd
You dial 911 by mistake (9 to get out + 1 + oops). Do you: 1) Hang up. 2) Apologize. 3) Giggle like...
Apr 23rd
BA-da-Ba-da-dee-DOO da dee da BUCK HILL
Apr 22nd
Mortgage is the new marriage.
Apr 22nd
Warch Watch
Little Britain: I Want Bitty
Apr 22nd
“Backgammon For Friendless People”, “Every...
Apr 22nd
I met a “Pennsylvanian” on the road to Town this morning. He was kind but full of False...
Apr 22nd
Tadanori Yokō : An Aesthetic of the End  (via)
Apr 22nd
Suggestion for Hershey
Apr 22nd
Props required for this morning’s video idea: doilies, antique pocket watch, framed photo of...
Apr 22nd
If you were in the black Nissan Altima that just passed, I was only itching my nose.
Apr 22nd
“The Ultimate in hand protection.”
Apr 21st
“The almighty dollar, it ain’t what it used to...”
— Devin the Dude, like many...
Apr 21st
A cologne based on the smell of just-opened CD liner notes? I would wear that cologne.
Apr 21st
Lesson Learned: The BABYBJÖRN Potty Chair-brand child’s toilet will not support the weight of...
Apr 21st
I NEED THIS CASIOBIKE YESYESYES
Apr 21st
I will vote for the candidate who promises to make hip-hop albums skit-free by 2010.
Apr 21st
サイコロキャラメル (Dice-Shaped Caramel)
Apr 20th
Strange Bedfellows in Japanese Karaoke Books
Apr 20th
WNYC has returned my donation to me in the form of 50 letters asking for more money. Next year...
Apr 19th
Antique Photo Generator (古写真ジェネレーター)Central Park, 2007....
Apr 19th
LOOK UPON MY OUT OF PRINT MURAKAMI TRANSLATION, YE NERDS,...
Apr 19th
Crap. My son just said “Ready, steady, go!” Now we have to use that special shampoo and...
Apr 19th

Knowledge, Dropped

The three accents you must master as an actor: Southern Foreign Foreign Southerner*  * Very rare,...
Apr 19th
“He held scrappy, apostate opinions: he liked Rimbaud,...”
— Dan Chiasson on Frank...
Apr 19th
ROMANCE TIP: Ladies love a Bloomin’ Onion.
Apr 19th
From the Air Panama inflight magazine, which I can only...
Apr 18th
(and I’m not from Philly)
Apr 18th
FREE SLIMSTICKSChris has created some lovely marketing...
Apr 17th
Heading to ad:tech. Which should I pack: silver bullets, garlic, or earnest sincerity? I forgot...
Apr 16th
TIP: To get people to hate libraries, just dress each of the books in a little KKK costume!
Apr 16th
Half The Battle : Caleb Beyers
Apr 15th
Sometimes when we’re walking home from the library, I pretend that everyone else in Los Altos...
Apr 15th
Cyrus
Apr 15th

Can You Dig It?

Cyrus: You're standing right now with nine delegates from 100 gangs. And there's over a hundred more. That's 20,000 hardcore members. Forty-thousand, counting affiliates, and twenty-thousand more, not organized, but ready to fight: 60,000 soldiers! Now, there ain't but 20,000 police in the whole town. Can you dig it?
Gang Members: Yeah.
Cyrus: Can you dig it?
Gang Members: Yeah!
Cyrus: Can you dig it?
Gang Members: YEAH!
Cyrus: Now, here's the sum total: One gang could run this city! One gang. Nothing would move without us allowing it to happen. We could tax the crime syndicates, the police, because WE got the streets, suckers! Can you dig it?
Gang Members: YEAH!
Apr 15th
“Now, look what we have here before us. We got the Saracens...”
— Cyrus
Apr 15th
“We’re paying attention. No, seriously. What was that you...”
— Paul Tough
Apr 15th
casiusking: Yahoo, the leader in online display...
Apr 15th
Celebrating Philip Roth’s 75th Birthday
Apr 14th
“In 1999, BusinessWeek production manager Nicholas White went...”
— Trapped In An Elevator For Two...
Apr 14th
We’re doing important work over at You Look Nice Today HQ. This week: inventing a new fitness...
Apr 14th
Warch Watch
ULTIMATE Unboxing (video) The most frequently mentioned product on the internet gets its due.
Apr 14th
You always make me look good, Hallway Mirror. Your pay raise comes directly from today’s...
Apr 13th
I think I’m an average-looking guy. But put me in a tank top and I look like the highly...
Apr 13th
Seasonal-Smell Nemesis of woodsmoke: chlorine.
Apr 13th

Confessions of a Mouth Breather, Ch. 32...

Me: Why does my skin hurt?
...
My Wife (7 Minutes Later): Sunburn. Idiot.
Apr 12th
Changing into my goin’-out colon for some BBQ.
Apr 12th
Quick trip to Best Buy, or as I like to call it, the “Amazon showroom.”
Apr 12th
I think I just pulled a muscle yawning.
Apr 11th
Warch Watch
(Video) I have this problem as well. My children WILL NOT study their lines. They depend on SAG for...
Apr 11th
Puddle-jump, (v.): To use 10+ different free or evaluation apps to do something that would take 11...
Apr 11th
Presenting: Pennybags’ Real Estate Market Indicator(In...
Apr 11th
I was right: adding a Rimbaud chapbook to the pocket really dudes up this cardigan.
Apr 11th
Nice Book Cover and a Good Story: ホームレス中学生“Determined...
Apr 11th
May 13 (Aw man, now Peter tells me it’s been pushed to...
Apr 10th
Warch Watch
This is what I think my moves look like when I dance at clubs. My best guess as to what I actually...
Apr 10th
The next time you casually dismiss Sean Paul, ask yourself: have you ever rhymed “medulla...
Apr 10th
OK, you’re right, my technical specification neglected certain major features, but does it...
Apr 10th
“I care more about one particular day in 1779 than I do about...”
— “The War Nerd”...
Apr 10th
I just feel bad for the poor guy who invented jackboots. He had no idea thugs would adopt them so...
Apr 10th
You win again, giant burrito.