He wants his tapes and pamphlets back.
Hitler’s Real Reaction
I’ve seen my share of “Hitler reacts” videos, but was having trouble finding out specifics about the actual historical event dramatized in that famous scene from Downfall. In case you’re interested as well, here’s what I found, via Wikipedia’s entries on Felix Steiner and the Battle of Berlin.
Also, above is the scene from Downfall with the actual English subtitles.
In April 1945, the Soviet advance toward Berlin seemed unstoppable, they were close enough to shell the city, and were poised to encircle the city within days.
Hitler ordered Steiner [Felix Steiner, one of his ablest officers] to attack the northern flank of the huge salient created by the 1st Belorussian Front’s breakout. In conjunction with Steiner’s attack, the Ninth Army under General Theodor Busse, was to attack from the south in a pincer attack.
Steiner [informed Nazi leadership] that the plan could not be implemented because the 5th Jäger Division and the 25th Panzer Grenadier Division were deployed defensively and could not be redeployed until the II Naval Division arrived from the coast to relieve them. This left only two battalions of the 4th SS Police Division available and they had no combat weapons.
On 22 April 1945, at his afternoon conference, Hitler became aware that Steiner was not going to attack and he fell into a tearful rage. Hitler declared that the war was lost, he blamed the generals, and announced that he would stay on in Berlin until the end and then kill himself:
“Because of one man’s fear of glory, we are to lose this war? No, I shall not leave Berlin. I shall stay here until the Communists bust down the door to the bunker, and then I shall kill myself, gentlemen.” (April 22, 1945)
Katie Spence : “Collabo”
Browsing some old photos, I found this one of me and JasPer from last year’s MaxFunCon.
Without Twitter, this kind of conversation just wouldn’t exist.
Can you imagine what the world would have been like if Einstein and Shakespeare had been able to communicate with each other like this?
Also: never eat a sandwich at Bill’s house.
Another Reason I Love My New Town
Unauthorized, low-rent PEZ museum. Which evidently houses the world’s largest PEZ dispenser. Which makes me wonder how big are the world’s largest PEZ, to go in that dispenser. Which makes me think: who did they build that thing for? Giants?
Jens Lekman: “Black Cab”
Oh, my dum-dums. Here we are, Jens Lekman Day drawing to a close.
This last song could have just as easily been “Higher Power” or “Silvia.” And you might find “Black Cab” a little bit slow at first. But take note: resonant and mournful, this is the best shower song of all time.
Although maybe this song only sounds good in my shower, when I sing it. If that’s the case—if “Black Cab” doesn’t work for you in your shower—I invite you over to mine, to listen to me sing it.
I feel like going home
But at the same time, I don’t
Jens Lekman: “If You Ever Need A Stranger”
Oh, dummies. You’re in for a treat. Jens Lekman Day Phase 2 begins NOW.
(Phase 2 is the sad phase. Can you whistle and cry at the same time? You can? It’s OK, I won’t tell anyone, it’s our secret.)
If you ever need a stranger
To sing at your wedding
A last minute choice
Then I am your man
Jens Lekman: “The Opposite Of Hallelujah”
Hello, dummies! Today is Jens Lekman Day. You probably didn’t know, so I will forgive you for not dressing up as your favorite darkly humorous Scandinavian folk singer.
I took my sister down to the ocean
But the ocean made me feel stupid
Stock Keywords
Cliché stock photography is the worst. But you know what is often the best? The keyword lists for those same awful stock photographs.
Click here if you want to be disappointed by the snoozy stock photo described by this mysterious and foreboding keyword list.
Bad Dad Chronicles
A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to be a guest on one of my favorite podcasts, Stop Podcasting Yourself. I told a quick story that illustrates just how ill-equipped I am as a father. Please enjoy. Yes, you are a better person than I am.
Listen to the whole episode, or subscribe to their show, here. They could use your support—Graham and Dave have precious little else of value in their lives.
They Can’t Trick Marilyn
I’m happy to announce that Larry Murphy and I were able to finish our short film under budget and on schedule. We haven’t heard back from any festivals yet, so if anyone knows a festivalman or festivalwoman, please pass along a kind word.
Early morning on the 1st of May 1943, a Spanish fisherman discovered a corpse clothed in British military attire which had washed ashore. Apparently a casualty of an airplane accident at sea, he had a briefcase chained to him. Identified as Major William Martin of the British Royal Marines, the body and the briefcase was demanded by the British Admiralty.
HOWEVER…
Major Martin never existed, and was part of a ruse named, “Operation Mincemeat”.
Find the story, and a slightly grody photo of “Major Martin,” at Iconic Photos.
A friend is going through a tough time right now. Last night I consoled him and offered advice, while simultaneously browsing for a new camera case on my iPhone.
It occured to me to write a long essay about how that scenario points to the increasing fragmentation of our attention and the threat that technology poses to real-world relationships. But really it just means I’m an asshole.
Party at My House, 11/20/2039
Just settin’ up a recurring reminder in iCal.
