your monkey called

Now that I’ve got my texturizing créme pomade in, I am ready to KICK THIS DAY’S ASS.

➳ May 09 2008 @ 8:31

How many times do you have to cycle through your very limited collection of steampunk-approved DVDs—basically, Van Helsing, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Young Sherlock Holmes, and Howl’s Moving Castle—before you realize you might have jumped on the wrong band-dirigible?

— tremble.com : worst of all, Steampunk is inconvenient

➳ May 08 2008 @ 15:10

➳ Comments (View)

If the Volvos of Los Altos are any indication, Barack Obama has despoiled a lot of bumper sticker virgins.

➳ May 08 2008 @ 9:23

➳ Comments (View)

If your cat poops gold, then cleaning the litter box is exactly like panning for gold.

➳ May 08 2008 @ 9:23

➳ Comments (View)

Thanks to modern looms, ascetics’ hair shirts are now quite comfortable.

➳ May 07 2008 @ 18:07

➳ Comments (View)

Guillaume Paris : True Spirit

➳ May 07 2008 @ 14:40

➳ Comments (View)

Hmm, the 4th hole in my belt is no longer on speaking terms with the buckle. They won’t go near each other.

➳ May 07 2008 @ 13:55

➳ Comments (View)

Prospective preschool website references Waldorf, Montessori, Piaget, AND Dewey. Pedagogical sluts.

➳ May 07 2008 @ 13:55

➳ Comments (View)

If I were .1% wealthy, I would name my palatial estate “Red Lobster.”

➳ May 07 2008 @ 11:16

➳ Comments (View)

Career-Confused? WE CAN HELP

YLNT JOBBOTRON is now operational and ready to help you figure out what to do with the rest of your life.

➳ May 07 2008 @ 0:21

➳ Comments (View)

BEACON OF HOPE

yes

➳ May 06 2008 @ 23:09

➳ Comments (View)

Oh, OK, now I get the joke. I had been emphasizing the wrong word: “THAT’s what she said.”

➳ May 06 2008 @ 15:22

➳ Comments (View)

A violent military government would seem less scary if they spelled it “hoonta.”

➳ May 06 2008 @ 15:22

➳ Comments (View)

In fact, if pressed for time, only 10 percent would stop to give any aid, even when they were on their way to give a sermon about how awesome it is for people to stop and give aid.

— The Good Samaritan Experiment (1973)

➳ May 06 2008 @ 13:44

➳ Comments (View)

I should mention I am the worst “Office” offender of all. I’ll get the ball rolling so I can call dibs on Jim H.

➳ May 06 2008 @ 10:05

➳ Comments (View)

by Scott Simpson. Mock the self-mocking: yourmonkeycalled → gmail
Powered by Tumblr. Sweet theme by A.W.